The Politics of JOY and Happiness in Texas!

Hello all! Angela is coming to Texas! She will be at Tarrant County College NE Campus at 12:45 p.m. on Friday March 14th, 2008 in the Theater. To Find out more or make a donation click here!

The time has come! I have worked long and hard to plan and (hopefully) execute a successful event with Angela.

I have been so fortunate and met so many supportive people along the way. I have learned a lot. An entire college course couldn't have taught me as much as I have learned along this road. I will definitely be doing this again....bigger and better next time.

I have also found a strength and fearlessness inside of myself that I had no idea that I possessed. I have actually walked up to people  and started conversations.  This coming from the wall flower who was afraid to speak in public to 2 people much less a classroom full of  people.

I feel so blessed to be involved with the JOY Campaign. And after this weekend I am excited to find out what is next ;)

A very powerful video!

Combating the Inner Critic

Realistically, we aren't going to heal and go through the rest of our lives without a bad day. Money is going to get tight, the kids are going to act up, people are going to be rude, and your computer is going to crash. What do you do when life hits you hard and it seems like there is no relief in site?

We all have voices inside of us. One of them is, what my therapist calls, the inner critic. That is the one that tells you that you are worthless and that you can not do anything right. We also have a voice (or light)  inside of us that knows that the world is not out to get us. The part of you that understands that you are not to blame for what others do or things that have been done to you.

Healing isn't about changing reality. It is about finding the voice inside of you that reinforces healthy thought patterns. For some of us that voice may be small and hard to find. For others that voice is easy to locate. The more that you strive to hear the good things your mind has to say the closer you will be to hearing that voice all the time.

When your inner critic starts to talk make a conscious effort to find your true voice. Look for the light inside of you. Breathe and listen to the positive things you already know about yourself. You don't have to believe them at first. Just look for them and repeat those positive things over and over until the inner critic gets a little quieter.  Taking the time to nurture the light inside of you helps you to realize your potential and leads you toward living a joyful life.

What can I do to help?

The Finding Angela Shelton Challenge!

A big part of healing is breaking the silence. Often people say, "But I am just one person. No one listens to me. How is it possible that if I speak up I will make a difference?" 

Every voice counts...and we need you to help.

Finding Angela Shelton is an escape route and a call to healing - so what if it got into the hands of all survivors?-- How do you get this book to 39 million people via a grassroots movement? We stand together. We unite our numbers and support each other until each and every survivor has been reached.

Tell all your friends on myspace to add her at: http://www.myspace.com/findingangelashelton. Check out the new website at: www.findingangelashelton.com. Then talk to your local rape crisis centers, high schools, colleges,radio stations and even police departments.

 

 

 

 

Most importantly, order the book! You can now do that here:

 FINDING ANGELA SHELTON (click the title for link)

TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Self-Injury

Sometimes the internet sucks you in...the only way out, sometimes, is to share what you are finding by putting your thoughts and feelings in to writing.

I started out today trying to find a group/person that I had once heard about called the butterfly mission. It was/is (I have had no luck finding it so I don't know if it still exists) a tool to help self-injurers stop before they harm themselves.

The idea is to draw a butterfly on yourself with a permanent marker. Then try not to hurt the butterfly.

Well, in the process of searching around I found some positive discussion/quotes, and a few new websites to help those who struggle with self-injury.

Here are the web addresses:

http://crystal.palace.net/~llama/selfinjury/
http://www.selfharmony.co.uk/
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/

Then I read this quote from a member of a group on facebook...

"We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no formal diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks."

**a special note to partners** You have no control over if your partner self-injures or not....do like the Martina McBride song says....love them anyway....Here is a link with some advice for partners: http://partners.aest.org.uk/how_to_help_those_who_self_harm.html

**a special note to those who were/are self-injurers** Give yourself a big hug...you are precious and more importantly...you are not alone

Nightmares

Nightmares by definition are scary. It is much worse if you are confronting painful things from your past within your dreams. Nightmares are equally as frightening if you are a partner of a survivor watching your loved one suffer. I remember one sleepless night that I ended up in tears because I couldn't wake my partner from what seemed to be an awful nightmare. I felt helpless.

Almost all survivors will have nightmares while healing. In fact, the nightmares will probably go away and come back many times. Typically, they will become the most extreme when they are dealing with self-blame or any sort of inner child work. There are some things that you can do to help or that you can mention to your partner so they can help themselves.

Encourage your partner to go to bed when they are sleepy. Laying awake for hours before sleeping will not be relaxing especially if they stay up alone.

Leaving a light on in the bedroom will help remind them where they are when they wake up.

Avoid bulky bedding or anything that causes static electricity.

Drinking warm milk or cocoa before bed is relaxing. Of course, avoiding caffeine is helpful.

Keeping the house cooler reduces how active the brain is during sleeping. ( This was the most helpful thing that I have ever been able to contribute)

Soothing music helps if it is played at a low volume. Be careful not to leave a radio station on that eventually switches to news programs. This can be a trigger for some survivors. White noise such as a fan is also an option.

Sleeping with a stuffed animal helps a lot of survivors. This goes back to comforting the inner child. If your partner is thinking of getting a stuffed animal don't laugh or judge them. Often this can be just the thing that turns sleepless nights full of worry into a full nights rest.

Some survivors are able to talk about what they dreamt after they are awake. If your partner shares this with you...just listen. Talking about them takes away their power. You ARE helping just by listening.